If You're Old Enough to Drink It ...

Do you drink coffee while you're dwelling at your Castle of Cubes? Nice hot cup to get your day started? Maybe you have a routine ... log on the network, rinse your mug? Grab a muffin from the vending machine or do you bring one in with you? Well listen up fellow Cube Jockeys -- unless there is a designated coffee maker on staff, if you drink coffee, you need to learn how to make it!

I know we're all busy ... reading/writing emails, putting out fires, handling customers/clients, answering phones, running reports -- doing what we do. Seriously, are we so busy that we can't take 30 seconds to push the "start" button when we empty the coffee pot?

Most offices have some kind of coffee station or a community coffee pot. If we're really lucky, the company will spring for a vending company to supply us with free coffee to keep us fueled throughout the day. Lord knows it's not the work that's going to keep us stimulated and energized throughout the day -- but I digress. What is it about some of us that keeps us from dropping a filter in the basket and pushing start? You know who you are or who your resident Cube Jockeys are that will empty the pot and walk away. Is it laziness? Rudeness? Some passive aggressive attempt to exert your perceived self-importance? Or is it you truly don't know how to make it? Whatever it is you need to stop.

We're locked in the Castle of Cubes for at least eight hours a day; four of those hours are spent drinking coffee (we tend to stop after lunch). The least we can do is exercise some common courtesy with each other. It's simple -- if you empty the pot (and less than a 1/4 cup left constitutes emptying so don't try that "it's not empty" crap to excuse yourself), you need to take 30 seconds to start another one. If you truly don't know how, then ask someone. You'll be surprised at how easy it is. Plus, you'll feel better knowing you did something that won't get put in your performance review but will keep you from being known as the resident jerk.

If you're old enough to drink it, you're old enough to make it.

Get Over Yourself - No Seriously

Listen up fellow cube jockeys -- it' not that serious. Unless you're a cube jockey working in some capacity where you actually have a direct or indirect impact to saving someone's life, you really need to put it in check. Yes, I'm talking to you.

I know you've got seniority and you probably have a title with "Senior" in front of some made up title that your company gave you but you're still just a cog in the corporate wheel. You can drop dead tomorrow and 99% of the time the company will continue on. Your family will get some flowers and some co-workers may come to your memorial service, but trust me, the company or department will not shut down without you.

So what am I saying? I'm saying loosen up. Laugh a little. If the printer gets jammed or the computer freezes up, that is no reason in the world for you to go into panic mode. NONE. It will get fixed and you can continue moving that paper to the next cog in the wheel.

Being a cube jockey is not a glamorous position. If truth be told, nothing we do or don't do has that big of an impact on the world. Yes, our jobs are necessary evils in the jungle known as Corporate America but cube jockeys should NOT be more stressed than brain surgeons. Working 16 hours a day does not make us more valuable to the company -- it just causes folk to continue dumping way too much work on you.

So just chill a little. Work hard. Do your best. Then go home to your real life. That cubicle ain't it.

It's On Now

My first post in what will be known as the Cube Jockey Chronicles. I don't know why I didn't start this blog before. After 30 years of working in some capacity in Corporate America, I figure it's time to have a place where I can ponder the bull shiggity that I've witnessed over the years. The good, bad, and the truly WTF moments that have sent me home shaking my head plenty of times.

I've got a ton of thoughts running through my head. Hope you'll join me as I ponder.