Oooh -- She said ...

That's what it felt like at the yard company today.   So I voiced some minor discomfort about addressing a particularly touchy situation with a client and before I could wash my hands after using the bathroom the little snitch had gone running to tell everyone in hearing distance that the Cube Jockette wasn't comfortable talking to a customer.  First of all, that's not what I said.  If you're going to go running to snitch, tell the whole story.   What I said was given the massive screw-up misunderstanding that had occurred with this particular customer, I felt like somebody higher than me needed to be dealing with or guiding me on how to handle sensitive issues until the mess is smoothed over.

But noooo .... just like Faux News, she only reported half the damn conversation.  Unfortunately, I can't address it with her now or else I'll come off as the "angry co-worker with an attitude problem" (to be addressed at my performance evaluation) attacking poor little Sally who was just trying to help.   She wasn't trying to help.  She was trying to instigate mess.  I see you Sally.

Listen up fellow Cube Jockeys ... we ain't shit.  We can be replaced as easily as we change our socks.  You don't think so?  Ask all the "high level" cube jockeys waiting for their unemployment checks as their jobs were phased out and sent overseas or just flat out eliminated in the name of the corporate bottom line.   I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can die tomorrow and the company will go on (sending flowers to the funeral, of course). 

Y'all better recognize.   Stirring up drama is not going to make you more valuable.  It's going to make your co-workers hate your damn guts and have you wondering why no one wants to team up with you on the fake "team building" exercises we have to suffer through. 

Did you not learn in elementary school?  Have you never seen Dennis the Menace?

or Leave it To Beaver

.
Yeah, I see you.

Boss+Tool+Facebook=Fired

You have a bad day at work. You come home and log onto Facebook thinking you'll let off some steam to 400 of your dearest friends. You write that the boss and CEO is a tool (along with other choice names that I won't repeat here). You name the name of the company in your status update so that it automatically shows up on the community page the company has set up to comb Facebook for comments. You are surprised that you "your services are no longer needed". Are you freakin kidding me?

So once again, here are some basic rules to follow for this day and age of the social media world:

• Do Not "Friend" Co-Workers: I'll say it again, all co-workers are not friends. Some are just co-workers who are trying to get that cubicle with the extra file drawers that you're sitting in or just wanna score some suck up points. They will turn on your ass in a minute. You've been warned. If you MUST keep in contact with these people, there's an app for that -- it's called LinkedIn. Keep it professional and drama free. Keep our Facebook page for your "real" friends and family. I don't even put work details in my Facebook profile and if a co-worker does send me a request, I politely explain that I prefer to connect with my colleagues through LinkedIn. If, in the rare instance that I make a true "friend" (defined as I can cry, pout, or call you in the middle of the night without fear of reprisal), then, and only then will we be Facebook friends.
  

• Check Your Privacy Settings: This is primarily for Facebook as they seem to change every freaking week. Just do it.
  

• Do not use the company computer: Especially during work hours. More and more companies are monitoring your usage of social media during work hours. They don't believe we can multi-task so to eliminate the drama just use your phone (keep it on vibrate or silent). If you must check in on work computer, do it during what is obviously lunch time.
  

• Multiple Accounts are your friend: Especially on The Twitter. I have a "professional" twitter account which is under my real name and tied to my LinkedIn profile . I also have another twitter account which is my "have fun" account. I feel freer to tweet political opinions, cuss, nonsense, TV shows, books, etc. It's not guaranteed to keep my real identify 100% secret but the two accounts are separate and with any luck, I hope the two never mix. Keep in mind, I'm not being a total ass under that account, I'm a nice person for the most part that likes to shout out my frustrations for the world to see. But at least I feel like I can "turn off" the work voice and not worry if someone's going to judge me professionally by the reality TV shows I'm addicted to.
  

• Keep Your Company Name Out of it: Unless you're a designated public representative of the company, I really don't see why you're referencing your company in your tweets or status updates anyway. Yes, your friends may know where you work, but is really necessary to point that out in your updates?
  

That's all I've got. Any more suggestions for minimizing your company's involvement in your social media world?